Jesus A Mighty Warrior

“This is a test. This station is conducting a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a Test. BBEEEEEEEPPPPPP… The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with Federal, State and local authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency. If this had been an actual emergency the attention signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions. This concludes this test of the Emergency Broadcast System.”

As a little girl growing up in the Midwest where tornados are known to happen I heard this test often. I knew it by heart. Having been raised in a devoutly religious home, I actually began believing it about all of life! All of life was a test! “This is God. I am conducting a test in voluntary cooperation with you, to allow you an opportunity to prove yourself worthy of My love and My presence when your life is over.” And what a disastrous recipe for perfectionism, anxiety, hopelessness and self loathing that became.

As I grew up and began experiencing life with all of it’s trials, choices, challenges, and temptations I found I had completely failed His test. Now what was I to do? I only had one life and I wasn’t even worthy of God’s love. So with no other hope, I just prayed. I prayed a simple prayer really. And I prayed it every day over and over in my heart. “Father, please don’t let me go. Just please, don’t let me go.” And one beautiful morning, as I was out watering my Begonias, the warm rays of the sun rose and rested directly upon my shoulders. And a gentle voice inside my mind said “Peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth but as I GIVE. My Father has you in the palm of His hand, He will not lose you.”

I exhaled a deep sigh of the greatest relief! I was in trouble, my life was so screwed up. I felt I was in bondage! I didn’t know how I could ever get free but I was still loved by God! And at that moment, that was all that mattered! It was then I realized, life is journey! Life is a beautiful, glorious journey! Life is for learning, growing and becoming! I may not have felt worthy but the day of judgement had not yet come. God was still here loving me after all this. I was not alone. I had hope! Now all I had to decide was if I going to turn away from all my past choices that took me out of alignment with my life’s integrity and allow His wisdom to come in?